The silence between the notes

 Trigger warning: Hot button topic ahead. I’m looking for insights and solutions, not complaints. Goodness knows our world has plenty of criticisms right now, so let’s focus on insights and solutions here! 🤍 ——————————————————— I have worked in education for over 20 years. Clarification— I have OVERWORKED myself in education for 20 years. For the first decade, I really thought that’s what I needed to do. I thought that’s what my students needed me to do. Then after years of hard work, constant self-evaluation, additional degrees, and endless professional development goals… my family experienced several traumatic situations, and I realized I couldn’t actually do it all. I couldn’t be there for my students 60 hours a week while caring for my family 60 hours a week too. (And I certainly hadn’t even considered if I should be taking care of myself at any point.)  When I began mentoring incoming teachers at the university, I made it a priority to teach my candidates that they shoul...

Full disclosure: Teaching is HARD! Online teaching is somehow even harder! Teaching online (and/or hybrid) in the middle of ever-changing social situations and a pandemic is UNREALISTICALLY HARD! I usually take pride in my ability to differentiate for students’ various needs but with online learning, that’s basically become one of my main job requirements! There’s no time left in the day to grade—just barely enough time to respond to the individual messages and try to plan their supports/modifications/extra meetings. Some days, my eyes are dry and burning and my heart is broken by student stories even before 10AM. On those days, I practically give up all hope of grading because it takes every ounce of professionalism to stay strong through my next 6 hours of Zoom meetings. And by the way, that is in no way a complaint! I sincerely value the fact that students are willing to reach out, and I value the fact that my job allows me to support them in different ways. I have seen programs w...

As more and more STATES and SCHOOL DISTRICTS are releasing their plans for how their schooling will happen in the fall, I’m seeing more and more anxiety and frustration from people’s responses. Friends, please remember there are NO EASY, OBVIOUS ANSWERS, because no matter how obvious one viewpoint might seem to YOU, we have millions of families coming from various experiences across the country and they all have different concerns. I really don't think a singular solution exists, so the most important contribution I can offer in this conversation is my wider perspective. I’ve been a teacher for about 20 years, and a teacher of incoming teachers for 5. I have worked in or alongside approximately 60 schools throughout Washington State. I love my students and their families and my coworkers very much and I wish we could find some magical answer that would fix this situation we’re in. But honestly, I'm still torn about what I wish for the 2020-2021 school year. I’m worried...

Like many teachers who have moved to an online format in the last few weeks, I’ve found myself in days of back-to-back Zoom meetings , and I’ve lost track of how many hours I’ve had to squint through my aching eyes at all my multitasking screens . On the bright side, I’ve found inspiration and creativity in imagining my classes and student interactions in new ways. But on the painfully bright side, these screens really do hurt after a while! So I’m going to keep this list of tips short and simple…because I want to go close my eyes and I’m betting you do too! To combat your increased time with online teaching and conferencing: 1)       Schedule breaks between your meetings. Over the course of a day, a few 15 minute breaks can make a big difference in your physical and mental endurance! As teachers, we’re not used to taking short breaks but this is a necessary shift now that you’re homebound! Stand and walk around your house, open your posture, stretch yo...

With the ever-tightening quarantine measures being taken during the COVID-19 pandemic, it seems like I no longer have the excuse of being too busy to write.   In fact, since  I’m working more hours from home, I’m being more intentional about switching from work to play time!  So for a creative outlet, I decided to create a challenge for all of my artsy friends who are also stuck at home! The first part of this project came to me when I was listening to a Paramore song which says ”We’re all alone now. I need something to sing about.” And I realized that future generations will probably interpret those words differently than the original context...before we'd all experienced large scale Social Distancing. As a former teacher of poetry and music, that made me want to start investigating other songs that will probably be interpreted differently during this isolation... or after this apocalyptic season (hopefully) ends!   The second part of the project came ...

  I'm an incredibly private person when it comes to my inner questions and fears and ideals. I've only ever shared those with a short list of individual confidants. Although I doubt that most people in my world really realize that there's so much they don't know about me...because I'm also an unusually philosophical and reflective person, and I DO SHARE those reflections sincerely and authentically with my friends/coworkers/etc. when I feel it's important to our purpose or our working relationship. But it's also likely that there are more sensitive, even controversial topics hidden deep below the surface of what I'm comfortable sharing...Until someone manages to open the floodgates and establish themselves as trustworthy enough to handle the rest...then since all of my ideas somehow relate to one another, I can't seem to stop until I explain all of them at once to the poor unsuspecting soul who offered to listen for the first few minutes. ...

Finally! Six days into “vacation”, and I finally accomplished a “morning off!” I  slept in, stayed in my pjs, and curled up with my coffee, kitty, puppy, and book just because I wanted to! In fact I just noticed that it’s almost 1PM and wondered if I should feel bad that I wasted my morning... On the other hand, my sisters would be proud that I'm finally sitting down with a book! They often made fun of me as being the English teacher who doesn't read. In my 13 years as an English teacher, I read PLENTY though! It's just that instead of the publications most of you were reading, I usually read journals, essays, and graphic organizers from 17 year olds. I don’t turn off my work mode easily; I usually keep working or at least thinking about work for days after the calendar says I’m off work. Truth be told, I still sent a handful of emails this morning before I started my book, because I knew those work-related conversations needed to move forward before next week. But I se...

It seemed so simple. For my 10th birthday, I asked for my party colors to be pink , blue , and yellow —so there would be something for girls, boys, and anyone who didn’t like the color the color they were “supposed to like.” Lol. Because who says all girls have to like pink? Or all boys have to prefer blue?? Out of the mouth of babes, right?!  Just a few short 10...20...ish years later, I find that it's no longer so simple. As grown ups, we seem to have a lot of concrete ideas about what the people around us--including the children around us--do and wear and feel and express. But when...and why...did we start to think this was worth judging?? As people, we are so much more than pink or blue, or skirts or ties, or other people’s expectations of our identity! And that’s not meant as a new age idea or liberal agenda—I believe this idea can be completely independent from social or political propaganda. It’s simply about respect, and in some cases, about the willingness ...

WARNING: A moment of transparency, and a rather long post ahead.  Yesterday, I had my 3rd teaching evaluation of the year and the administrator asked my students a variety of questions, one of which was "Does your teacher demonstrate enthusiasm in her job?" One dancer laughed and said, "She has more energy than the rest of us every morning." Since this was a student I've known years, I later confessed that I'm usually faking my 6AM energy, but that by pretending I'm excited in beginning of each day, I usually make the energy become a reality. (With the help of my 9AM dose of caffeine and B vitamins, at least until it wears off.) She was surprised that she didn't know how I'd really felt all this time.  And I realized several of my mostly-on-line friends have mentioned similar ideas recently, with kind words about how fun or funny or happy my life seems to be.  (Although those who know me best can attest to what you're about to learn......