I'm an incredibly private person when it comes
to my inner questions and fears and ideals. I've only ever shared those with a
short list of individual confidants. Although I doubt that most people in my
world really realize that there's so much they don't know about me...because
I'm also an unusually philosophical and reflective person, and I DO SHARE those
reflections sincerely and authentically with my friends/coworkers/etc. when I
feel it's important to our purpose or our working relationship.
But it's
also likely that there are more sensitive, even controversial topics hidden
deep below the surface of what I'm comfortable sharing...Until someone manages
to open the floodgates and establish themselves as trustworthy enough to
handle the rest...then since all of my ideas somehow relate to one another, I
can't seem to stop until I explain all of them at once to the poor unsuspecting
soul who offered to listen for the first few minutes.
For about a
year, back in 2015, I saw dozens of local artists open their floodgates to
Spokane's Slam Poetry community. Off and on, I sat in the audience and laughed
or cried or got offended or got inspired as each situation demanded. Once, I
even got dragged into being a judge. It was one of the most horrifying and
humbling experiences for me...and it inspired me to try writing and sharing my
own ideas instead of just thinking about them.
As a former
English teacher (and at the time, I was STILL an English teacher), I felt all
sorts of pressure to create profound pieces, to prove that I wasn't an artistic
fraud, and also to maintain a level of "professionalism" that would
seem appropriate for an adult who was supposed to be a role model for high
schoolers. I took all 3 of those challenges very seriously. I still do. But now
that I'm no longer teaching High School English Language Arts, I've finally
gotten enough distance to realize that it might just be OK for me to share my
personal writing even IF it's not "profound" and "role
model" material. I've always wished the people around me would value MY
authenticity as much as I TRY to value theirs. Maybe I just haven't done a good
enough job of putting myself out there on a limb, of showing the unrefined and
maybe even unmannerly ideas that I've internally explored throughout the years.
Well,
tonight, while sorting through the remaining English teacher paperwork that had
enslaved my at-home office for over a decade, I stumbled on a few poems that
I'd intended to present at a 2015 Slam Poetry competition, but I'd chickened
out and buried them in my office instead. If I remember correctly, I'd
refrained from posting any of them at the time because we'd get bonus points
for "world premier" poems that hadn't been vetted by previous posts
or performances. The irony of that very idea is even addressed in what I'd
intended to be my very first shared Slam Poem, so I hope that helps set the
foundation for anyone who might actually still be reading this.
So I
decided to share one tonight. Mind you, it was meant to be presented in a
vocal, somewhat dramatic fashion, not just read on a screen. But if you're
still reading, then I guess you've earned the right to "hear" it
however you'd like. The only other point I should make is: Yes, the title
absolutely is a reference to Leslie Knope's slap at Slam Poetry. You're
welcome. And thank you.
Anything can be a slam poem…if you say it like this…
Do all slam poets yell?
Are they expecting me to cry?
Would it be better if I...pause…
Blank verse, or should I rhyme?
If I’m to earn those points,
Are these unspoken guides?
Or do I even really care;
Is that a slam poet's life?
Lord knows I've faced troubles
so there's plenty to tell.
But I don't swear in public,
I'm not going to yell!
Plus some of these here poets,
They're out of my league.
Maybe there's just no point;
This...just isn't me.
I picked a lame one to start with--
First impression, my ass!
Hey! I just swore in public!
Maybe it won't be that bad…
So who cares about rhyming,
Or rhythm, or scores?
If they don't like what I'm sharing?
Fuck that. There's the door!
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