The silence between the notes

I haven’t posted any of my writings in nearly a year because I haven’t felt like I had time to revise and edit and do them justice. But today’s funny little post is funny…and little…and time sensitive to today’s date, so I figured I might as well get it up here either way.  By now, you probably know that crazy dreams are a nightly adventure for me. Well, amidst last night’s nightmares, there was one quirky plot that actually turned out to be surprisingly thought provoking.   It started out with an unlikely family trip—me, my sisters Megan and Kasey (who lives in DC), and my parents (who really don’t “take trips” anymore)—somewhere in a far off campsite or recreational area of Washington.   Four of us had been ready to leave for a few hours but Megan had supposedly been hanging out by herself for a while and wasn’t answering her phone. We were getting sunburned and cranky while waiting for her to come back so I went to track her down. Turns out, among othe...

It might seem improbable that an English teacher would ever be at a loss for words.  But it happens more often than you might think.  When I'm so proud of my kiddos that I find myself repeating the same compliment over and over.  When I'm so nervous about an unpredictable event that I just speak in broken phrases with no apparent syntactical connection.  And when I'm so brokenhearted that I just don't know how to begin. Since my spoken words are failing me right now, I'll try to write.  Sadly, I don't turn to prayer or scripture as easily as I should in these moments of silence.  Most often, I just sort of swim in my own thoughts for a while--pondering the "he said...she said...what if...then that..." possibilities a dozen more times.  But even in stunned silence, I still trust that I can find an opportunity to grow, so I am trying to turn to prayer more wholeheartedly tonight.  And ironically, I find that even my prayers are sort of lacking wor...

"The whole earth trembled and the veil was torn: Love so amazing, Love so amazing!" ~Jesus Messiah by Chris Tomlin These lyrics would not leave my mind today. As long as they were sticking around, I thought perhaps I should try to understand them a bit better! My analysis: 1) While the earth was trembling the people nearby were surely unaware of the resurrection causing it, and they were probably afraid. After several recent geological events ranging from earth-shattering to simple rumblings, I have seen that fear is the first response no matter how big or small the tremors. And I imagine that people did not respond to the Easter trembling by curiously proclaiming, "This is a fun feeling! Something happy must be happening here!" 2)When the veil was torn, again I imagine that the people were afraid, and although it symbolically represented a new covenant or relationship, it literally destroyed a religious veil that was previously valuable both monetarily and cul...

I shared these thoughts with our FCA students this week. I hope it inspires them, and I hope I can live up to my own ideals. I believe we are called to demonstrate a Love that is greater than our own human nature can supply. *********************************************************************** One of my favorite quotes about being a Christian: “As a Christian, the greatest influence you can have on those around you is…just not be a jerk.” (Sean Lumsden, Living Hope Church ☺) *But then again, any non-Christian can also “not be a jerk.” So what would make me different? God’s love v. man’s love *Unless I pursue God and truly understand his love, I can only love out of my own human capacity. Since humans fail, my love will also inevitably fail. Sadly, sometimes my love will…be impatient, envious, proud, snippy, selfish, feel like giving up on someone, lose hope. *What does 1 Cor 13:1-7 say about God’s love in the face of those failures? If I speak in the tongue of m...

Lately, I've been pondering old thoughts again. I'm assuming that at some point, everyone finds a quote or verse of some kind that just sticks with them throughout their life. For me, that quote has always been Galatians 5:22, the Fruits of the Spirit. It's all too easy to get caught up in the excitement, goals, fears, and drama of daily life, but when I remember to compare my daily endeavors to these fruits, life finally comes back into focus. So tonight I've been praying that I can begin to live with "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control" again. I've re-decided that I need to evaluate any goals, choices, statements, or happiness according to that list. Is that goal based on patience? Is this word or choice based on love? And so on. It's just disheartening to know how easily I forget about these things...So here I go again, I'm reminding myself (and anyone else who wants to join me?) t...

I’ve recently decided that this is one of my favorite holiday phrases: it provides the cliché ambiguity I need to communicate a variety of ideas and that same ambiguity allows the recipients of the phrase to interpret my ideas however they see fit. After someone (No names, please!) has eaten too many pieces of mint fudge, “’tis the season” acknowledges the humor of gorging ourselves on holiday treats. After an act of kindness to a hurting stranger, “’tis the season” serves as a word of encouragement. But I often find myself trapped behind my favorite holiday phrase: in my attempt to be politically correct, I allow people to interpret “’tis the season” as they wish, not as I fully intend. I wish I could emphasize to everyone that “the season” is really THE season. I wish I could use it to declare the Love of the CHRISTmas season! Sure, the winter holidays each have their advantages (Thanksgiving turkey and potatoes, Christmas fudge and Rudolph, New Year’s resolutions made...