The silence between the notes

Even after the rain, With plants that were never meant  For bouquets, We can find beauty. Sort of like in life, In times that we never imagined  We would face, Growth can be beautiful. So maybe beauty comes less  From sweet fragrance  Or visual charm.  Maybe it comes more  From the way  We grow with the weeds  And the rain. *I shared a version of this to a private page on May 27,  and today I decided I wanted to include it in this “collection” on my blog.

As more and more STATES and SCHOOL DISTRICTS are releasing their plans for how their schooling will happen in the fall, I’m seeing more and more anxiety and frustration from people’s responses. Friends, please remember there are NO EASY, OBVIOUS ANSWERS, because no matter how obvious one viewpoint might seem to YOU, we have millions of families coming from various experiences across the country and they all have different concerns. I really don't think a singular solution exists, so the most important contribution I can offer in this conversation is my wider perspective. I’ve been a teacher for about 20 years, and a teacher of incoming teachers for 5. I have worked in or alongside approximately 60 schools throughout Washington State. I love my students and their families and my coworkers very much and I wish we could find some magical answer that would fix this situation we’re in. But honestly, I'm still torn about what I wish for the 2020-2021 school year. I’m worried...

Like many teachers who have moved to an online format in the last few weeks, I’ve found myself in days of back-to-back Zoom meetings , and I’ve lost track of how many hours I’ve had to squint through my aching eyes at all my multitasking screens . On the bright side, I’ve found inspiration and creativity in imagining my classes and student interactions in new ways. But on the painfully bright side, these screens really do hurt after a while! So I’m going to keep this list of tips short and simple…because I want to go close my eyes and I’m betting you do too! To combat your increased time with online teaching and conferencing: 1)       Schedule breaks between your meetings. Over the course of a day, a few 15 minute breaks can make a big difference in your physical and mental endurance! As teachers, we’re not used to taking short breaks but this is a necessary shift now that you’re homebound! Stand and walk around your house, open your posture, stretch yo...

  I'm an incredibly private person when it comes to my inner questions and fears and ideals. I've only ever shared those with a short list of individual confidants. Although I doubt that most people in my world really realize that there's so much they don't know about me...because I'm also an unusually philosophical and reflective person, and I DO SHARE those reflections sincerely and authentically with my friends/coworkers/etc. when I feel it's important to our purpose or our working relationship. But it's also likely that there are more sensitive, even controversial topics hidden deep below the surface of what I'm comfortable sharing...Until someone manages to open the floodgates and establish themselves as trustworthy enough to handle the rest...then since all of my ideas somehow relate to one another, I can't seem to stop until I explain all of them at once to the poor unsuspecting soul who offered to listen for the first few minutes. ...

In my 15+ years as a teacher, I've never seen such fear for physical and emotional security as what I've seen this year ...and I’ve struggled to find the words to talk about it but I think it’s important that I try to share. In addition to the social-emotional support that teachers offer in an average year, I’ve had to council my high school and university students after 3 separate shootings that have forever changed the way they’ll view their world ; In the last month, I’ve also tried to support them through 2 threats that they suspected were aimed at our own high school. The last 1 was the day my dance team left for the State Championships and it was a frightening whirlwind of emotions for everyone. My main solace was getting on a bus with my students and driving away from the situation, but my students and I continued to worry about our school for the rest of the day. Although I’m glad my students all know that our dance class is a safe place, and that they get the cha...

Here I am again, after months of writing things and not posting them. I have in fact had a lot on my mind. (Those of you who know me personally are not at all shocked, I'm sure, but maybe someone out there doesn't yet realize that, so I felt it was fair to say.) But my whole life, I've done this thing where I have too much to say so I say nothing for a while while it bubbles up inside...then I try saying something and it all comes whipping out like a hurricane of nonsense...so then I go back to bottling it up and stating my need for "processing time." Guess that's what's been happening with my sporadic posting for the last few years too. Who would have guessed? Then there's this other thing I do when I don't know what to say--I obsess over a song, poem, essay, etc. in which someone else said what I couldn't. So to that end, I'm directing you to a few two articles by a cause that I admire very much: To Write Love on Her Arms. If you haven...

WARNING: A moment of transparency, and a rather long post ahead.  Yesterday, I had my 3rd teaching evaluation of the year and the administrator asked my students a variety of questions, one of which was "Does your teacher demonstrate enthusiasm in her job?" One dancer laughed and said, "She has more energy than the rest of us every morning." Since this was a student I've known years, I later confessed that I'm usually faking my 6AM energy, but that by pretending I'm excited in beginning of each day, I usually make the energy become a reality. (With the help of my 9AM dose of caffeine and B vitamins, at least until it wears off.) She was surprised that she didn't know how I'd really felt all this time.  And I realized several of my mostly-on-line friends have mentioned similar ideas recently, with kind words about how fun or funny or happy my life seems to be.  (Although those who know me best can attest to what you're about to learn......

One month after my sleep study and here's what I've learned: Sleep really is about quality not quantity!  If YOU also struggle with a potential sleep disorder, I strongly encourage you to ask your doctor about a sleep study. Yes, it's almost impossible to get a "normal" night's sleep with all those wires pasted to your body, but the doctors are still able to interpret the results in a way that sheds light on your situation. So far, here are the most important things I've learned about my sleep struggles: 1) I wake up about every 2.5 minutes, or over 130 times in a 5 hour sleep. Even though most of these are for less than 15 seconds at a time, that's still enough disruption to keep my body from actually resting and healing like it should.   2) I reach REM sleep about 30 minutes later than most people, and then my nightmares begin. About 4 times per night.  3)  Alpha wave intrusion also means my brain starts acting like it's awake when...

Five suicides in the last six months, 2 of them from the school where I teach. Another from the university where I am an adjunct. I still don't know if I can find the right words to express my personal feelings or my deep condolences after these tragedies but this article convinced me that I must at least say something.  http://m.spokesman.com/stories/2015/may/12/five-teen-suicides-have-left-whole-community/ In addition to summarizing this tragic year, the article states that " Suicide is part of the culture our kids are growing up in" and that  recent suicide prevention sessions have found that adults aren't comfortable discussing suicide. I'll admit I'm not comfortable right now...but i f we don't break through our comfort zones to discuss it, then who's going to help our students through it? And let's not kid ourselves, depression and suicide plague many adults too.  Who's going to help our adult friends through it when their adolescent nigh...