The silence between the notes

Well, maybe I don't really want to stay that way, but when Jewel sings those words, I think maybe it's OK to be so sensitive. Sometimes it can wear me down, and sometimes I wonder why I can't just brush things off like others do, but sometimes I think that I should be grateful for being wired this way. I should be grateful because being sensitive allows me to see so much! I see hidden talents, and sometimes hidden hurts, that others can't see in themselves. I see potential in progress, and moments of perfection in otherwise imperfect performances. I see beauty in places that others find mundane. I see blessings in challenges. I see happiness in tears. I see strength in scars. I see art in all things. Then why do I sometimes dream of changing? People with these sensitivities tend to hide their true feelings, and that means we tend to feel alone in our vulnerability. But I know there are others out there, and I hope that maybe one or more of them...

When I took on National Board Certification in 2007, I convinced myself that I was DONE with higher education. But true to the surprises of my recent years, I now find myself enrolled in the Masters in Secondary Education program at Whitworth University. And my first assignment: an autobiography. It seemed simple enough but after 4 hours of trying just one more "new angle," I finally decided that sleep was more important than proving my writing abilities through my own autobiography. Still, I figure that if I was willing to share my bio with people who barely knew me, I should at least be willing to post it on my own blog. So here's what you might (or might not) want to know about me! ***************************************************************************************************************************************************** “Whatever happened to predictability? The milk man, the paper boy, evening TV?” I loved the opening credits of Full House as a k...

Ok, maybe that's a hyperbole. Maybe, just maybe, a few people on this planet won't actually see my latest blog entry. But the excitement-- and the vulnerability--is just as real no matter the size of my audience. The fact is that the whole world COULD see and apparently that's enough to dictate my posts! I was surprised tonight when editing my list of entries...Apparently I have four pieces which I developed and saved but never published. Not to mention all the pieces that I began and deleted because they weren't actually worth working on! This made me realize: blogging gives the writer such ownership! It's all my choice as to what makes it through to "publication" and this seems a more powerful motivating force than the "due dates" we have to impose on student papers. Obviously, to maintain order and proper sequencing of skills, classrooms need a calendar with formal due dates, but I wish more students could experience the ownership tha...

Facebook has obviously modified what we consider "friends" in our world today. Maybe it's a good thing--reconnecting friends separated by time and distance, or allowing acquaintances to see beyond the typical passing hello's. Maybe it's a bad thing--causing some to seek out people to call their friends so they can increase their numbers, or possibly lowering the threshold of what's considered appropriate to share outside a circle of close friends. But as the graduating seniors of 2011 are now eligible to become my "friends" on Facebook, I find myself wondering about the increasingly ambiguous nature of friendship in our society. Before Facebook and before becoming a teacher, these might have been my simple, uncomplicated definitions of a friend.  Friends look out for each other.  Friends laugh together.  Friends cry together, or stay strong when the other cries.  Friends work past the difficult times together, even when they caused the problem.  Fri...

While playing around in the settings for this account I stumbled upon a page that shows me who has been viewing my page! Now I realize that some of you professional bloggers might not be impressed by these stats but I sure am! I sort of thought my blog was just a way for me to keep up with friends and share my thoughts with them. But this says it's been viewed by lots of people! By people from Brazil, Russia, and the Netherlands!?! Just to note a few. And now I'm curious to know who these people are--if they ever view my page again. So please leave a message after the beep...Well, you know what I mean! Please, leave a message. You have me intrigued!

"The whole earth trembled and the veil was torn: Love so amazing, Love so amazing!" ~Jesus Messiah by Chris Tomlin These lyrics would not leave my mind today. As long as they were sticking around, I thought perhaps I should try to understand them a bit better! My analysis: 1) While the earth was trembling the people nearby were surely unaware of the resurrection causing it, and they were probably afraid. After several recent geological events ranging from earth-shattering to simple rumblings, I have seen that fear is the first response no matter how big or small the tremors. And I imagine that people did not respond to the Easter trembling by curiously proclaiming, "This is a fun feeling! Something happy must be happening here!" 2)When the veil was torn, again I imagine that the people were afraid, and although it symbolically represented a new covenant or relationship, it literally destroyed a religious veil that was previously valuable both monetarily and cul...

I'm guessing (and hoping) that it's normal for people to fluctuate in their career confidence. But when all the fluctuating evens out, I'm still wondering...How do you really know if you took the right steps today, if you improved over your yesterday-self, or if you're even in the right career? Does any career give you objective enough feedback to know for sure? After 8 years of constantly striving for self-improvement as a teacher I've come to the conclusions that I will always need to be better still, and that there might never be anyone who can actually help me feel accomplished. Administrators don't really "supervise" modern classrooms so they don't know if I'm succeeding or just skating by on any given day, and students don't know what they don't yet know so they're not always able to identify what's missing or unnecessary in a classroom. Then again, as each year progresses, my students' skills improve and they g...

I've laughed to myself a few times recently about how all the blogs I follow have taken a simultaneous hiatus...Apparently myself included. And I just thought I would break the silence and say "Happy New Year" and "Happy Blogging" to anyone who is considering rejoining the world of cyber scripting. I thoroughly enjoy hearing what you all have to say and I hope to hear more from you in the near future!